In the second of our short blog series ‘Organising Change’, we share thoughts from the founder of The Relationships Project, David Robinson on ‘The glitter and the glue’ – putting relationships at the heart of changing lives and systems.
David, one of the speakers at our June event about building relationships and power through tough times, says that after decades as a community worker he’s sure that the ties that bind us – our relationships – are the single most important thing we can do to change our own lives and the wider world.
Coventry Urban Eden. A community-led group greening up the city centre for everyone, supported by Grapevine’s community organisers.
Our community organisers have a hunch David is right. As he says, a world in which our leaders put relationships first, systematically and in every context – and where our organisations and systems are institutionally relational – would be revolutionary.
‘Grapevine: The glitter and the glue’ by David Robinson
A special organisation
It’s often difficult to put your finger on exactly what makes an organisation special, not least because being special is usually about a lot of things.
Grapevine is special – the people, of course, the zest for learning, the appetite for sharing, the record of on the ground, practical achievement alongside the big picture thinking – are all in the mix. But still, for me, one thing stands out: the attention to forging and sustaining strong, effective relationships.
When we think of good relationships as the first mile, rather than the extra one, we are building the foundations of everything that matters – stable childhoods, effective education, thriving communities, compassionate care, just policing, a fair economy, responsible government… the list goes on.
You may say that’s obvious but common sense isn’t common practice. All around us now in the places where we live and work, where we learn and shop and care and heal. All around us – locally and globally – we connect and transact in ways which were unimaginable even 20 years ago but being well connected is not the same as connecting well.
And connecting well, putting relationships first, is a great big Tardis of an idea. From the outside – small, simple and prosaic. But get in there and look around. It’s huge and it will take you everywhere. If you want to change the world, start with relationships.
Members of change making group Roots In Nature explain their objectives at a Collaboration Station event in Coventry.
Of course, I’m not talking about any old relationships. They can be ineffective or worse, abusive. I’m talking about good relationships characterised by kindness and trust, generosity and joy, by challenge and the active recognition of power, by the acceptance of vulnerability and above all by reciprocity. None of the other behaviours work, not in the long term, as one-way streets.
Good relationships aren’t an alternative to shifting power, tackling poverty or healing division, to good attendance rates in the school or good health outcomes in the hospital. They are how we achieve these things and this is what we see when we lift the bonnet on Grapevine’s wonderful work – strong, tender, trusting, challenging relationships uniting people in solidarity behind a purpose and also having fun – the glitter and the glue. It’s not the quickest fix, but it is the route to deep sustainable change.
A special moment
New MPs have arrived in Westminster, new ministers appearing in unfamiliar roles and we have a new Prime Minister. National power has shifted from one party to another – something that typically happens just two or three times in every working life. We also have recently elected mayors still finding their feet in many regions and new or rejuvenated councils in many more.
None of this makes change inevitable, not real, deep change in how we live together, but all of it creates possibilities, openings and opportunities. The first bounce is relatively predictable. We read the manifestos and we know the ideas that have been trailed and often repeated. The second bounce must be our focus now. How will new policies land in our communities, who is affected and with what consequences?
A raised bed secured by Coventry Urban Eden is brought to life by a core team member in the city centre.
In recent years, and especially through the campaign season, we have been offered a politics of followership, rather than a politics of fellowship. A politics that divides rather than a politics that unites. Now, to play our full part, we mustn’t only respond to the here and now and follow on behind.
We must look ahead, anticipate the second bounce and the third. We must engage the many, not the few. And we must put relationships first, in the big picture and in the fine detail, from the smallest places close to home through to the national arena.
It’s time for us all to take a leaf from the very special Grapevine book.
Related reading
Read our deputy CEO Mel Smith’s blog in this series ‘How we organise change in this place at this time’ by clicking this link.
Read Grapevine’s stories in The Relationships Project’s Case Maker report here.
Learn more about our Coventry movement against isolation and marginalisation ‘Connecting for Good Cov’ here.
